The day an Average Virgin Pakistani Voter was banged. (PG18; Of course)

I can almost pull an Urdu novelist here: Her hands were still adorned with henna when the in-laws started making her suffer. The henna crusted hands washed the laundry, mopped the floor and the person who was the sole reason of that henna was none the wiser.

So soon, so heart breaking-ly soon.

FINE! That doesn’t sound as dramatic as in an Urdu drama setting but you get the picture.

The average Pakitsnai virgin voter, felt the same. The inks on thumbs have not faded as yet and we can sense the disappointment in the air mainly because Karachi gets its air recycled from Quetta and not from Punjab. (This is in accordance with the legends of Kolachi, never jotted down, vertically transmitted from mother to child and no, it’s not racial against Punjab so shut it.) As confusing as the usage of parentheses by this politically incorrect blogger was the average voter on this fateful day.

We dreamed of a hot Prime Minister because girls have hearts too, remember? We wanted someone actually parha likha who wouldn’t rape the most animated inanimates like Urdu and English, who knew his shit  and owned it with less of a cheshire cat smile and more with a big head on his shoulders. That man was Imran Khan, hands down.


We were thrilled, we were excited. In short, we were drunk on placebo. And what a placebo it was!

Now that we all (Read: Virgin Voters) wanted PTI to storm the national assembly with the said tsunami, the provincial bit was tricky. The provinical bit was very nasty. Ironically, we might hate some Chowkidaaars even though we know they are the best for our muhallas. Same is the case with PPP in interior Sind, MQM in Karachi, PMLN in Lahore. While an outsider would hate parties like MQM or PMLN, these are the only parties who do ‘something’ for their respective cities. Consequently, masses ignore the fishy/terrorist tendencies and act selfish. Hate it or take it, this is how it is. That being said, friends joked how they wanted NAYA Pakistan and PURANA Karachi.

While that doesn’t mean I support Altaf Hussain or his shenanigans, (this being just an example) I have a high opinion of some individual representatives of MQM. Point being this, when there was no balla in the white paper the second best choice was MQM per se. While you might (definitely) hate me for this, I voted for PTI in NA. Before it looks like an apology letter for voting for MQM, let me clear that I’m not happy with either of the votes.

One party keeps fucking Karachi while owning Karachi, the other party doesn’t give a fuck and did not even bother supplying balla in every constitutency. I don’t know which one’s worse.

While the system remains intrinsically corrupt, we can’t even say we were not warned. TUQ and then had saner opinions here.

Confusions, confusions.

The first-time voters had their first encounter with reality and they couldn’t digest it. They couldn’t digest how their vote couldn’t bring a change overnight, how people in slums couldn’t want a naya pakistan, why people in Lahore would want Shareef again, hell they couldn’t even realize why everyone was making fun of them and hence they (we) felt the betrayal, we were dejected. Some even tweeted that’s how a breakup would feel. Ell o ell! Ironically, many got their inspiration from Tahrir SQUARE, vowed to revolutionize the system when the normal sensible response was to approach courts, filing complaints and so on but who’re we kidding? The funniest uproars were heard from the people who couldn’t even vote being younger than 18 and those too who spent the day retweeting the controversial tweets rather than making an effort to excercise their right to vote.

In all this scenario, MQM remained MQM and Imran Khan called the elections a success. (OUCH) The only people who were emotionally and physically drained were the virgin -innocent -so easily- exploited youth.

What Elections 2013 yielded was a great turn out, increased political awareness, increased traffic on the Twitter  timeline of political diarrhea which may or may not be the best thing, only time would tell.

While the ECP must do the damage control in terms of transparency and re election of certain constituencies, the bigger picture would remain as it is and all these volatile hormones would simply keep transmitting frustration in the air unless you realize why you were screwed officially in the first place, unless yourealize that you contribute to the society not by ‘outrage’ but by channeling all this extra energy into significant projects, education being the easiest channel.

On a side note, Please check the meaning and spellings of CASTE, CAST, BALLET, ‘CASTED’, ‘LOOSE’ while you’re at it.

Peace out and oh, good luck with protests. 🙂


Just another Virgin Voter.

Aptitude Test-Anticipating Syndrome!

ATAS can also be named as Aptitude Test-Anticipating-Then-Surviving-Through-It-Else-Desperately-Look-For-Alternatives-If-God-Forbid-You-Don’t-Clear-It-Then-Face-The-World-With-Every-Lame-Excuse-You-Can-Come-Up-With Syndrome. I stopped here because for a candidate appearing in these MCATS and ECATS …world actually, momentarily stops right there.

All is well that ends well, they say. But what exactly a student goes through during this period is never to be taken seriously. Limited seats and the survival for the so called ‘fittest’ is the bottom line. How effective these aptitude tests are in making competitive doctors and engineers is of no body’s concern for we belong to the kind that is comfortable in continuing the traditions and re-igniting even the dying rituals. I do not have much issues with the way tests are conducted though but the stress one experiences in that phase of student’s life is something that should not be condoned. I planned to blog about it in light humor but the bitterness it triggers is something I just can not control. I mean just give me a break! Since when has it become a matter of life and death? But then this is what it exactly is. The worst being the fact that the competitors are mostly in the game just to clog the vacancies. The intentions? You will get to know:

Mothers add even more to this pathetic viral mentality  . . . as in our society ‘rishta issue’ is the most critical:

Then we have some confused chaps , who are in it for some Goddamn reasons:

Speaking of which, let’s empathize what one feels when one of the acquaintance brags about his/her intentions in a totally cool way:

The-oh-so-cool-lady: I won’t ever opt for the job after completing M.B.BS, you know?

Me: Why do u want to become a doctor then? :s

The-oh-so-cool-lady: Ah. I’ll see, I don’t want to but lets see if my husband (whoever may he be)  allows. . . [ And she fixes her gaze at some unseen point and smiles. Background music: Zoooobi doobi dum dum. . . .]

I don’t know how I resisted myself from slapping her hard then. :/

If we inspect it closely there is no genuine competition in fact. Many want to be one just to keep up with the Joneses. Besides, every one is transformed into some one better just because of the God-sent aptitude and coaching centers that proclaim to get you into the highly prestige universities, no matter what. Throw in some bucks, get the short-cuts to solve the notorious MCQS  and dream sweet, a little of your university-to-be. Another scar-face rival is none other than our Matric and Intermediate board. As the weightage is considerably heavy because of it’s part, one may spot many whining about their un-fair results courtesy the boards. Many fabricate the excuses while many are right as well. Who knows and who cares really?

To cut it short, the un-due stress due to many un fair reasons will keep haunting our students until taken seriously. For the solace part directed to dear sweet candidates: Every thing happens for a reason. Un-fair factors will remain, but that is always some-how compensated somewhere. This is how the God rules… so trust Him, give your best and leave the rest to Him as they rightly suggest: Say naught the struggle not availeth! Cheers (:

Call me pessimist… but I don’t see a change!

Three cheers for Dr Abdul Jabbar Memon who is most likely to come out clean and clear with the allegations. For those who know what I am talking about, be informed that the early D.N.A report suggests no evidence against the medicolegal officer. Now you get to know why PMDC  kept devouring the lullabies while you were there protesting against the incident, publicizing the poor victim and demanding the cancellation of his degree. In your face! Seriously.
I still am keeping my fingers crossed though, but we all know how equivocal this news is!
My point of rant?  What do we really get by raising hue and cry except for sympathies. . .
Same goes for all other national and international issues that are being piled up on our already wrecked nerves. My Facebook Homepage hints that as a nation, we are transforming into nothing but a bunch of sentimental fools who are virtually soo hyperactive and soo compassionate carrying out inane campaigns back to back for supporting one cause or the other. How do I serve my beloved country by simply crying out loud is beyond my reasoning. I witness my friends joining hands on Facebook to tell the world that Pakistan is not a terrorist country. As if world will bow to accept your pointless discussions over forums. Similarly, I can’t see how we can ask Israel to stop killing innocent Palestinians by simply bashing Israelis. In my humble opinion, you cannot convince anybody by showing your vulnerable side, let alone on internet. Not to forget those youthy youthy organizations sprouting up from nowhere tempting the shits out of our seemingly energy filled yet indolent YOUTH. I am happy for you if  hyped-up seminars, dazzling T-shirts and the awesome snap-shot satiate your frustration. But Oh please don’t humor yourself by expecting more from this because that doesn’t mean you’re doing something for your country. Why fund these newly-hatched-wannabe-popular-one-day organizations when you already have some credible, highly recognized organizations , Edhi for instance ? I mean I respect the intentions and everything but these scattered bunches of people vowing to themselves do not really make sense.  Where’s the change if apparently we all are wide awake as a result of  XYZ awareness programs?
You know what ? By your hysterical bouts over national and international issues you relay just one message to the world that you belong to a highly sensitized, irritable and emotional nation,comprising of  fanatics who don’t know what to do except for swearing and cursing on websites, throwing fists in air, weakening its own economy by calling for strikes, adding fuel to chaos-ensuing rumors and what not.
Lets just hold on for a second. Be reasonable ! Since you’ve chosen your FUTURE role in society by being a scientist, engineer, doctor, athlete etc, be content with it. Focus while pursuing your dreams. You will make this country better one day but at this level? by being a youngster? I feel sorry to say but you cannot bring out a change in your country unless you’re up for civil disobedience moment. On a serious note, your lives are important, not to be used up by politically active shit bragging entities. Excel in your respective fields, there could be no better service for your country. We need good scientists, good engineers, good medical practitioners and many intelligent minds with pragmatic approaches.  (: Returning to the top, where I talked about that JPMC thing. . I believe if fellow doctors could have retorted ,we might have seen better consequences.
Above all, if you want to continue hoping like toads and yelling like crows then call me a pessimist because I don’t see a change.

Source: Internet

P.S : I planned to make a cartoon of confused youth myself but my pectoral girdle aches badly as if I were the one behind flinging of that shoe :s ( =P ) *eyes rolling*