Trick or Treat Mr. Brain? Part One.

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Three years and 6 semesters!

You would’ve thought we’d have excelled at playing Eeny, meeny, miny, moes while attempting Best Choice Questions by now and thus have earned respectable GPAs in black & white.

You also could have imagined that whining might have superseded itself and a conscious person might have taken birth within us without managing to make us sound and appear gravid.

But dear me, its just a dragged limbo where we’re drugged and our brains even more drugged.

This semester I had a full cauldron of things to keep me busy stirring it which obviously resulted in a very oh-God-Just-get-me-thru-this-last-time-without-actually-studying-will-be-a-good-girl-next-time-pinkie-promise type desperate prayers. After getting done however, I gave it a second to the power 238 thoughts. These are the points I plan to cover in next semester’s resolution hence I typed them up here since such online dogmas calls for publishing, here it goes:

HOW TO TRICK YOUR BRAIN INTO STUDYING:

1) Acquaint Your Ass With The Study Table:

Your ass is also connecetd to your brain which is a sad news. However, you’ve to ignore the brain part here and take your little gluteus maximus for a causal trip to the study table. Place all the exuberant items on the table and decorate it with vibrant colors. Don’t forget to place your ipod and lappie there too. Your table must have jars of munchies and chocolates. Some nuts would help too for nuts like u…us! Day 1-5 must go without placing any books whatsoever on it, a little funky notebook could do though. For first five days just sit there and chat with anoymous people, you can also brag about your tough studies but thats just an idea. On Day 6, place your books one by one. You can now take a picture to show off your study table so that it garners sloppy lovey-dovey phone conversations from your mom back home who might even break into tears that her kiddo means business now. :’)

2- Your Faithful Caff:

Despite all cAMP activating shit, the only effects on caffeine that I can vow upon are illustrated below:

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There is a lota in the background if you fail to decipher that =P

However, you steel bladders must give it a try if that has once proved to be effective for you. How I love Placebos! (Y)

3- *Tweet, Tweet, Repeat* :

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Now that you’ve made a habit of using your study table and there lies a mug of frothy coffee on it you’re ready to make a public announcement about your study plans. Here are a few sample tweets:

1) Holy Cow! Full modules of cardio and GIT, I am so screwed #FML

2) Exams in xyz days. Yayyyyy, How I love getting disctinctions 😛 #JK

3) THAT MUCH SYLLABUS! Don’t even have time to freak out!!! (You surely have time to tweet that though ^_^ )

4- Migraine and exams, sorry what do we call migraine again?

Point is, whatever you do just keep writing tweets about impending examismus, it would lure your brain into thinking that you might really want to study. Also while we’re at it, please ignore the others on the TL who would keep thinking that if their syllabus is realy that difficult, who is dying for their tweets anyway, go study bhaeee!” But you, my friend shouldn’t let them dampen your spirit and gotta ignore them, cause they’re the OTHERS, remember? 😛

4- Be unorthodox:

Despite setting books on your table, you know how you hate them. Now is the time you invent your own stuff… lets say flash cards, puzzles and buy all those anatomy coloring books and MRS series if you’re studying medicine. You must also watch youtube for all those mnemonics and beautiful bacteria. If you get acquainted with flash cards, at least pharma would be THE game, my dear.

5- Fail Like There is No Tomorrow:

Remember guilt is the best impetus. You must really fail one or two exams so that confidence doesn’t hamper your studies. You need to get insulted by the professors once in a while in unit tests viva… only then you would learn how to clear your exams in the end. XD

Disclaimer: That is all for the Part One, since we have a different genetic makeup please don’t rely on my tips for tricking your brain into studying like that but if that works some how, you’re welcome 🙂

 

La Viva La Embebeass-aaaaaa!

Take it as a foreword. The title above is no Spanish whatsoever its just lameness personified inspired by la modes, duh. I would owe you one if you get this embebeass-aa and move on. Thank you.

LA EMBEBEASS-AA:

M.b.b.s was a major turn off. Once upon a time that is.

The past tenses make me delve into self pitying when the hermits I mocked all my life resemble me so much today. Dilated pupils, gaped mouth, zero sense of humor, dropped shoulders and etc etc.

The mirror blurted out finally that I was the dumbest of all.

Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye.

 

Life could be less pathetic if that were not for hostel. Hostel life and med student life?  Ultimate (autolyic ) combination. Current affairs were confined to hostel premises and so I lost track of all the hustle bustle of life outside my habitat.

Even the Ninjas had a life.

 

Our source of entertainment and knowledge became Pratigya and Big boss. Thanks to the caliber and guts of people around, I had to do as the Romans did. ( I am sorry I could not stand Pratigya though). All the interest in sports was soon limited to kho-kho. Julian Assange was leaking something, I came to know one day. I thought about Detrol as a treatment for his bladder control but I couldn’t follow up more.

Obama chughalofies.

This brings us to the more critical issue that explains my harmless naïveté more convincingly. La viva that is.

La Viva:

We had a life. We had better things to do. We were loved and we had a family. Pity that our mighty teachers never came to know this. 8th December 2010, 8:30 a.m was one such day and time when I got severely appalled by the viva vice. Fine, that you test our knowledge but I demand a rather kind, encouraging attitude of teachers toward the students kiun k teacher bhi kabhi student thi. My pulse rate was 155 per min prior to the viva just because I came to know that the teacher who was about to take my viva was the one I feared the most, added to it was the remote possibility till yesterday that it could really happen. I survived it fortunately. Bottom line is just that I waste my days studying like a donkey ( Don’t try to tell me that even they don’t :/ ) and my life is a dungeon where I sit by the gutter line and think about the most shitty things possible.

Suffocated I am and all I need is a Goddamn break! Feel free to cheer me up. Thank you. =P

Aptitude Test-Anticipating Syndrome!

ATAS can also be named as Aptitude Test-Anticipating-Then-Surviving-Through-It-Else-Desperately-Look-For-Alternatives-If-God-Forbid-You-Don’t-Clear-It-Then-Face-The-World-With-Every-Lame-Excuse-You-Can-Come-Up-With Syndrome. I stopped here because for a candidate appearing in these MCATS and ECATS …world actually, momentarily stops right there.

All is well that ends well, they say. But what exactly a student goes through during this period is never to be taken seriously. Limited seats and the survival for the so called ‘fittest’ is the bottom line. How effective these aptitude tests are in making competitive doctors and engineers is of no body’s concern for we belong to the kind that is comfortable in continuing the traditions and re-igniting even the dying rituals. I do not have much issues with the way tests are conducted though but the stress one experiences in that phase of student’s life is something that should not be condoned. I planned to blog about it in light humor but the bitterness it triggers is something I just can not control. I mean just give me a break! Since when has it become a matter of life and death? But then this is what it exactly is. The worst being the fact that the competitors are mostly in the game just to clog the vacancies. The intentions? You will get to know:

Mothers add even more to this pathetic viral mentality  . . . as in our society ‘rishta issue’ is the most critical:

Then we have some confused chaps , who are in it for some Goddamn reasons:

Speaking of which, let’s empathize what one feels when one of the acquaintance brags about his/her intentions in a totally cool way:

The-oh-so-cool-lady: I won’t ever opt for the job after completing M.B.BS, you know?

Me: Why do u want to become a doctor then? :s

The-oh-so-cool-lady: Ah. I’ll see, I don’t want to but lets see if my husband (whoever may he be)  allows. . . [ And she fixes her gaze at some unseen point and smiles. Background music: Zoooobi doobi dum dum. . . .]

I don’t know how I resisted myself from slapping her hard then. :/

If we inspect it closely there is no genuine competition in fact. Many want to be one just to keep up with the Joneses. Besides, every one is transformed into some one better just because of the God-sent aptitude and coaching centers that proclaim to get you into the highly prestige universities, no matter what. Throw in some bucks, get the short-cuts to solve the notorious MCQS  and dream sweet, a little of your university-to-be. Another scar-face rival is none other than our Matric and Intermediate board. As the weightage is considerably heavy because of it’s part, one may spot many whining about their un-fair results courtesy the boards. Many fabricate the excuses while many are right as well. Who knows and who cares really?

To cut it short, the un-due stress due to many un fair reasons will keep haunting our students until taken seriously. For the solace part directed to dear sweet candidates: Every thing happens for a reason. Un-fair factors will remain, but that is always some-how compensated somewhere. This is how the God rules… so trust Him, give your best and leave the rest to Him as they rightly suggest: Say naught the struggle not availeth! Cheers (:

Barbecue Tonight!

Months ago when I started blabbing online, loud enough to dedicate a lameness filled, so-called ‘blog’ for it, a few things I observed quite soon. Firstly, narcissism is a genuine turn off. Secondly, online bitching about your acquaintances and others actually disgust your readers cum wanderers to the core. As for me, after a hectic day I always look for something that could refresh my senses and enlighten my mood. Narcissism and bitching? No thanks!

That was the story till yesterday. Mood switches and with all impulse twitches,  I hereby forewarn you to discontinue reading if you are or have been as selective reader as me… for I be the great narcissist, touching the borders of nihilism and the bitch-versus-the-bitch participant tonight. Yes I am mad for the forgotten and unforgotten reasons both. Apart from the fact that we have to stay two days more in the hostel as our test got postponed, agitation as the aftershock still prevails about the last two days. I would love if ‘you’ happen to read this. To make things clear, please embrace the fact that like you and your kind I do not take things on the face value. I am not as dumb like you either to not understand the malice and that avenging potential infested in the air when you utter a single faking, flattering word. O’ Your bitchy-ness! I so am honored when you roam around wagging your fat little tail in order to please your fellows including me but that does not make you any better as the dark disfigured heart cries in sheer agony when you ‘apparently’ does not abide by its desires by your fake-ness. Take my sincere advise, you better be yourself despite how much your ‘self’ sucks. It will keep you contented too, I guess. Since I’ve already bidden you TATA to the hell, kindly stop bugging others to mediate as well. You win in just this way that I experience immense hatred right now which of course is not a pleasant feeling but that I’ll survive by tomorrow for sure. Anyways, I better not waste much time typing up this. A 20 minute spitting session was more than enough. I shall cremate my hatred along with the recipient in the very premises of my hostel. There you would lie in the wobbled intestines of all these animals that I hate here. Happy being barbecued!

Eid, Eidi and my recommendations!

A very happy Eid to all of you! 🙂 That said, be informed that hereby hangs another boring tale that is intended to look like a blogpost:

Even the ideas that creep into my suffocated cranium are senile now. This 20-year OLD shabby-dabby blogger assumes herself something like Mother Goose this moment. Despite being solely financed by dear parents, I feel like an Eidi giver, out of this age-stroke probably. M.A is one of my besties who religiously reminds me that since I am no longer a Teen, I am a potential Eidi-giver, a treat-fund-er and what not… but money is not everything or is it?  One is free to choose whatever he/she wants to give as eidi. Hain na? As it turned out and was discovered some days ago, many fellow bloggers cum almost-friends (=P) are younger than me as well.  Since this is a very auspicious event how about this if I stop whining about my age for a while and pick the aforementioned bloggers who have been making me feel great about this blog since its birth 😉 There! Take your Eidi ( Doodles and blog linked that is) and don’t forget that ADAA’B thing please! 😛 😉

This Blogger has so much substance to scribble off.

Even if she is simply commenting around. Literature and politics in particular. Check out Maha Kamal’s Blog.

As She observes, she writes things on as is where is basis. Candice, simplicity and cuteness combined. Check out As I observed By Princess of No man’s land =P

See it her way or suffer the consequences =P This little 17 year old chatter box will storm your home page of twitter. Watch out =P Check:  C it my way!

Okay, This blog is highly recommended for the abundance of vocabulary and poetic rhythms all over, but comment carefully cuz he may blush =P Check out My Time Capsule!

That’s all for today =P . Have a wonderful Eid people 😀 Byes!

From Teens to Twent-eens!

SO. . . The birth certificate says I was born on 31st August 1990. Darn it because for a fact I want to fake this document and fool this “sweet” world that I m not twenty yet :/ I mean, my friends are younger than me. Almost all of them. This out-of-the-world feeling is a pain in the neck. You can feel it from these abruptly written words. Nevertheless I so lurvv these intelligent minds who have invented that consoling term “twenteen”. Let me tell you that I’ll keep it till 25 or may be even after that =P . Stop giving that look,  you can wish a belated birthday rather 😉 =P

For those who wished me or plan to wish me… Here, take this =P

And the real cake by a really sweet, cute friend, the only one who was actually there with me on my birthday 😀 ❤ you Rabia!  She gifted that cake ( My cell phone is pathetic… so are the pix, I m sorry 😦 )